ศาลาชุมนุม

[bill]

I am moving to Thailand and wondering how life would be outside of Bangkok or Chiang Mai for a gay man. Maybe the first issue is small town vs big town and would a small town be too slow? But I wonder if there is also issues as in the US with small town people tending to be more homophobic.

Anyway, if there are any gay people reading this who have or are living in Thailand, I would like to know where you prefer to live and why. Thanks.

[Bryan.the.Scorpio]

Hi Bill,

I'm pretty sure that Thais in small (non-metropolitan) provinces are not that homophobic as you fear. They might give you a strange kind of look, yes, but please keep in mind that almost all of foreigners, esp. those who happen to be having to live small provinces of Thailand, get the same kind of look. Why? Maybe because you have different physical features--blue eyes, blond hair, prominent nose, tall, white skin, red face due to sunburn, etc. Thais are friendly-yet-shy, fun-loving people with Buddhism ingrained in their minds. So there's no need to fear that you will experience something horrible like bashing, violence or hatred from them. Thais are not given to apparent emotional displays; Instead their eyes & facial expressions say a lot about what they are feeling about you. However, I am not saying that there're absolutely no gay haters in Thailand, since that kind of people exist everywhere all over the world.

If you could tell me what province you will live in, I would be able to give you a rough idea about the prospective place. But, sure, the gay scene will be relatively slow (sometimes even void) anywhere outside of Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Phu-ket and Chonburi (there're a few more but those're the big four gay cities in Thailand). If vibrant gay life is one of your criteria, choose one of those aforementioned provinces.

If you get time, visit this Web site. Also, maybe if you could get a hold of Bruce, who is currently living his content life in Chiang Rai, he might be able to give you more insight as an insider. Read his post ( http://www.thai-language.com/ubb_cgi/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=18;t=000007) & see his profile-Home page.

I believe Glenn could help shed light on this issue for you, too. He knows us & our country well.

[Glenn Slayden]

Another useful resource for expatriates living in Thailand is Dreaded Ned's site.

Because of the influence of Buddhism in Thailand, gays and other sexual minorities have not been as socially persecuted as they have in many western countries. In particular Theravada Buddhism (the sect prevalant in Thailand) is concerned with individuals achieving personal enlightenment and their personal karma, and this has created a society where people aren't as invasive with regard to other people's private lives (Note for contrast, the proselytizing and missionary aspect of many western religions).

Sorry for the mini treatise, but I think it's important to understand that you're going to a very different culture, and the more you can empty your mind of expectations the easier the process will be.

G

[Bill]

Thanks so much for your replies. I've spent the last hour going through all three (Bryan, Glenn, and Bruce) of your home pages. What an interesting group of guys! Obviously, you both have a lot in common and I bet you enjoy corresponding with each other. You all seem to be fine writers, incredibly smart,well read, deep thinking, and fun loving gay men (I can't mention everything:). Where ever I end up in Thailand I hope I can meet some interesting people like you.

Bruce's life in Chiang Rai sounds quite nice. Some of the more interesting experiences I've had in the last twenty years in my travels in Asia and Latin America have been in rural settings or small towns. I enjoy being outside of the usual tourist areas and getting to know the local people.

I like the fast pace of the city, the variety of peoples and the cultural activities like music but it doesn't take long for the noise, pollution and sex tourism to get on my nerves in a city like Bangkok. I do like to be in a city where there are places to meet gay people, but I don't really care about the bar scene. I was in Chiang Mai about six months ago and it was a lot busier than it was twenty five years ago when I was first there, I was a bit disappointed. I'm wondering how some of the other cities like Korat, Udon Thani or Nong Khai might be?

Have any of you lived in Bangkok recently and if so, how did you like it? What do you think of living anywhere else in Thailand, Chiang Mai, Issan, Chiang Rai....?

I actually have some things in common with all three of you. I have a background in music (jazz and classical guitar) did an MA in philosophy and have been earning a living as network engineer (Cisco CCIE). Now I'm ready for a new chapter.

My initial plan is to settle down for a while in Thailand and study Thai, do some volunteer work and spend some time with my music and photography. After a year or so we'll see. A gentleman's farm near Chiang Rai sounds pretty nice actually!

Anyway, I look forward to seeing more on your site, its been very helpful.

Bill

[AngieQTAngel ^o^]

how do i kno if the foreign man in front of me is GAY! lol j/k

[Glenn Slayden]

you have to use GAYDAR

g

[AngieQTAngel ^o^]

HAHAHA!!! lol
sounds good!!!