ศาลาชุมนุม

[dtit]

What happens in a Thai - western marriage regarding the dowry if both of her parents are deceased?

Thanks
Michael

[Peterdh]

in my case ( I will marry september 9th) her parents are both deceased too, but the dowry will go to her grandmom (91 and still going ), but I don't know what would happen with it if there is no grandmom too

[Peterdh]

little update: I asked my future wife what would happen if the bride to be doesn't have any parents, or people who took care of her, left (in my wifes case, her grandmom): than the dowry/sinsod usually should go to the bride herself

[Mongchol]

Thanks Peter.

I wish you much happiness.

Michael
(yes, I forgot my dtit Password... ) :-)

[David and Bui]

We have seen several situations where the groom, typically a foreign person, was strongly encouraged to give a dowry to the bride's parents and senior family members. The amounts were not insignificant.

In many situations, the parents or family members will give the money to the bride as a wedding gift. The result is that the cultural obligations are met on behalf of both the parties and in the end the money ends up back with the newly married couple; or out of the husband's pocket into the wife's.

On the other hand, we have seen a situation in which a parent refuses to give the money back. The marriage ended quickly and badly as the foreign husband believed himself to be taken advantage of; the dowry issue was not the only catalyst.

Carefully consider whether the dowry is just not another attempt to extract a toll charge from you, likely to be the first of many such occasions.

[Peterdh]

@ Michael: thanksssss
@ David and Bui: like in my case, her grandmother will give part, if not all, back to my bride's pockets, which she (my bride) considers "our" pockets (and me too)

And yes, its basically like giving it straight to my wife.... but than the family can't "show off" to the rest on the wedding

( btw. here's my website for a little preview: http://www.petersplace.nl/ )

[HansNonthaburi]

Tom & Peter van harte gefeliciteerd met je op handen zijnde trouwdag.

Hans in Nonthaburi

(for the people who don t speak dutch... i did wish my congratulations to them both with the comming wedding)

[Peterdh]

tnx Hans, just a little more than a month (august 31) and I'am leaving for BKK again.
September 9 is D-day for us in Singburi, so actually pretty close to you in Nonthaburi

(Peter, still in Lelystad)

[Terry]

Many foreigners feel it difficult to pay "dowry". But always remember that "to show face" is an important part of the Thai culture. In all weddings is it told to all guests how much that is paid in dowry and in gold to the bride. The numbers are often increased as there is an agreement on returning the money.
There is many stories about farangs being ripped off. I can tell quite a few stories about rip offs. But I now more positve stories than negative stories.
So if you in the first place decide to marry a Thai woman, I hope you know her enough to trust her. And if so.... make her happy by having big numbers announced to the party. It is increasing the respect of her, and of you.
Regards Terry, Buriram

[Peterdh]

in this case NO rip off happily married with a, for me, big wedding, especially when you are the only farang at the party, and you know only 10 percent of the guests.

for the curious people here:
http://www.petersplace.nl
I can assure you, after all this was finished, I needed a pair of new knees